Dirty Dining
What can you do about men's bad language at work? Well, the
women at the office where I once worked got sick and tired of
the men's dirty lunchtime talk, so we decided a petition was in
order, a sort of combination Magna Charta and Declaration of
Independence. We drafted it, printed it, and presented it—to no
avail. The men didn't take us seriously, most likely because we
didn't take ourselves seriously. Their talk continued,
unchanged. Today, we'd probably be in court. But this happened
in the days before sexual harassment lawsuits were a regular
feature of the legal landscape and off-color remarks were
politically incorrect. Even now, I'm not sure if I'd go so far
as to label the men's bad language as overt sexual harassment,
but I would definitely call it extremely annoying, distracting,
and degrading. If I had to do it over again, I'd use some of
the techniques I've been brushing up on recently from Messages:
A Communications Skills Book. There's a helpful list of what
women need to remember when talking with men (and also a list
for men when talking with women). The 'Rules of Awareness for
Women' include some that really work in business, like noticing
who's on top when you're dealing with a group of men, so you
can be aware of whose position you're agreeing (or not agreeing
with) and making your views clear. Sticking to business and
focusing on facts are also important, as is taking a vote when
consensus can't be reached. I'll vote for that, because I'm not
convinced men and women will ever share the same ways of
looking at the world...it must be that Mars-Venus thing.
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