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To
Be Or Not To Be – Manipulated That Is
Something has been bothering me lately. I have noticed lately that a few people I
know have tried to manipulate me by making me feel guilty if I don’t do
something. A call just the other day
got me a little steamed to say the least. Another parent from my daughters’ school attempted to get me to help out
at school with the snack program. You
know, if you don’t help out….etc.
I got to thinking about bullies in
general. Most assuredly if you work in
a large company, chances are there is at least one or two bullies around. Bullying is not really the best word that
describes these people, perhaps more like manipulating. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines
manipulation as “…to control or play upon by artful, unfair or insidious means
especially to one’s own advantage.” What it means is being used, intimidated, coerced, brainwashed,
bullied and abused and forced into doing something we do not wish to do.
Maybe it’s your boss or a co-worker. They may use guilt trips on you (like the
lady at school), intimidation, or fear (by saying if you don’t do this project
this particular way, you might lose the contract…), whining or the poor,
pitiful me attitude. I actually trained
someone like this in a job, all they did was whine about pretty much everything
all day not a pretty picture!
To understand manipulation you first need
to understand why it’s used. Manipulation is used as a means to an end with that end being the
manipulator getting their way in a situation. However that being said, one thing that we need to remember is that
manipulating is a part of the human makeup; some just do it more than others.
How should manipulative people be dealt
with in the office environment? Policies are a big start. Discourage various types of behaviour in writing. Management should be able to help you in
this area as well. Try rewarding good
behaviour and ignoring the manipulative behaviour. If it someone that you work with and upper management either
won’t or can’t do anything about that person, perhaps it is time to job hunt.
Sadly, no matter what stage you are in
life, there are going to be people who are going to try and manipulate you, the
trick is not to let them.
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