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Attitude is Everything

The dictionary defines attitude as “…Position as indicating action, feeling, or mood …”; How do you start your day?  Do your kids come and poke you awake or you awake to a cheery voice on the radio? How do you feel when you get up? Are instantly barraged with kids and other family members demanding your attention?

I think as women, we tend to change our feelings or mood many times during the day. We have all left the house looking forward to a great day only to have it start raining suddenly or gotten splashed on the way to work.

Even the happiest people have bad days, but it all in how they deal with the bad days. If things don’t turn out well one day, ie: your car won’t start, you in turn miss an important client, and then the whole bad day snowballs from there, you can be miserable and upset or look at the situation, laugh and try to see the bright side.  I heard about a lady once that missed her connecting flight, however the flight she was supposed to catch ended up crashing.  Most of us have heard stories such as this but maybe not to this extreme.  Face it. Everyone, every once in awhile is going to have a bad day, when nothing seems to go right.  The best thing is to accept it, move on and try to smile about it after all, tomorrow is another day.

To Be Or Not To Be – Manipulated That Is

Something has been bothering me lately.  I have noticed lately that a few people I know have tried to manipulate me by making me feel guilty if I don’t do something.  A call just the other day got me a little steamed to say the least. Another parent from my daughters’ school attempted to get me to help out at school with the snack program.  You know, if you don’t help out….etc.

I got to thinking about bullies in general.  Most assuredly if you work in a large company, chances are there is at least one or two bullies around.  Bullying is not really the best word that describes these people, perhaps more like manipulating.  The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines manipulation as “…to control or play upon by artful, unfair or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage.”  What it means is being used, intimidated, coerced, brainwashed, bullied and abused and forced into doing something we do not wish to do.

Maybe it’s your boss or a co-worker.  They may use guilt trips on you (like the lady at school), intimidation, or fear (by saying if you don’t do this project this particular way, you might lose the contract…), whining or the poor, pitiful me attitude.  I actually trained someone like this in a job, all they did was whine about pretty much everything all day not a pretty picture!

To understand manipulation you first need to understand why it’s used. Manipulation is used as a means to an end with that end being the manipulator getting their way in a situation. However that being said, one thing that we need to remember is that manipulating is a part of the human makeup; some just do it more than others.

How should manipulative people be dealt with in the office environment? Policies are a big start. Discourage various types of behaviour in writing.  Management should be able to help you in this area as well.  Try rewarding good behaviour and ignoring the manipulative behaviour.  If it someone that you work with and upper management either won’t or can’t do anything about that person, perhaps it is time to job hunt. 

Sadly, no matter what stage you are in life, there are going to be people who are going to try and manipulate you, the trick is not to let them.

Tips on Delegating

If we work in a busy office environment or even if we have kids at home, we may have the opportunity to delegate certain jobs to different people, whether that be staff, co-workers or kids even.  How can you delegate effectively and be authoritative without being seen as a dictator?  Here are a few ideas that just may help you with that.

First, don’t fall into the “I can do it quicker and better syndrome”.  I know as a busy work at home mom, I tend to fall into this trap.  Sometimes, by the time you explain what you want done to a child, its just way easier to do it yourself, but this is no way to manage and can lead to a possible burnout in yourself.

Secondly, visualize the end result of the project or task at hand.  This way, what you require to be done will be clear with you and will help you explain it clearly to your person doing this task.

Thirdly, don’t be a perfectionist!  Since I work full time at home and since my kids are older, I have designated major chores to them such as vacuuming and laundry, but while my daughter tries her best, she doesn’t always get into the corners or under the couch like I would. What you could say to the person doing the task is this is fine for now, but next time I would prefer you do it this way (or in my daughter’s case, I could say, for instance, this is great for now, but next time when you vacuum, I would appreciate it if you vacuum under the couch etc).

Fourthly, allow your staff/children to use their own methods as a means to an end. You should be concerned about the end result, not the techniques used.

Fifthly, put a due date on the project and follow up from time to time with the person doing the task.

Lastly, acknowledge a job well done, no matter how small.

These are a few pointers can be loosely used in pretty much any delegated task to staff or family members and hopefully by following these simple rules, you can have the job done quickly and painlessly.

In Fitness and In Health

It seems that fitness clubs are the craze these days.  There are women’s health clubs like Curves, men’s health clubs and even ones for kids that have after school fitness programs!  With fitness, getting into shape and health consciousness being the buzz words of the early 21^st century, its important to know what you are getting into before you sign up and join a fitness club

For the busy business women, finding time to exercise can be a major problem, let alone squeeze in time for a gym.  Instead, what about a personal trainer?  A personal trainer is someone that would come to your office or home and help you with your exercises or someone that you would meet at the gym that would assist you in your quest to get fit.

So what do you look for in a gym or fitness centre?  What about a personal trainer?  How much will this cost?  How much time will I have to invest on a weekly basis?

A good personal trainer can cost around $25 - $50 per hour.  A personal trainer can adapt a training plan that is best suited for your needs, will keep you motivated and help keep you free of injuries. And for some busy women, a trainer is the only way to go.  Here are a few questions to look at when looking into a hiring a personal trainer.

-are they insured? 

-are they flexible to your work schedule?

-what is their personality like and can you get along with them all right?

-does the trainer have experience in working with people your age?

A gym or fitness club can provide you with the exercise equipment and can be a reasonable alternative, but may not always be a place that you can get to with a busy schedule.  Plus, gyms usually want some sort of commitment in the form of a contract.  Be wary of the ‘hard sell’ however, since most of their sales people are on commission and will try and sign you up for their biggest package. Aside from that, what you want to look at is the gym itself.  Ask for a tour.  Is it clean and well taken care of?  Does the gym offer classes? Classes like steps and pilates may be what you are interested in.  Does this gym offer these classes?  Does the gym have enough equipment to accommodate people during its peak hours? Does it have child care?  What are the gym’s hours of operation and can it fit into your schedule?

If you have time to shop around, do so.  Don’t be pressured into committing yourself to the first gym that you check out. Also with personal trainers, ask for references of past clients.  Were they happy with him/her, their manner, and the way they did things?